The past 24 hours have been really stressful for me. Waah,Waah, here is my sob story. A week ago, Caleb tells me that our desktop computer won't boot up. What does he know? I always get it to boot up. So, downstairs I go, and it says it needs to do some type of fix it thingy before it can boot up. I follow the directions and let it work it's magic to get all booted up again. After an hour it says it needs to try it's magic again because it didn't work the first time. "Oh crap," I start to think, "what if, just what if something is wrong." Because it was just the day before I was wondering, "when was the last back up?" It had been a loooonnngg time ago.
The next day Mike took it in to the Computer place and assured me it would be ok. The thing is less than two years old. All I really want at this point is my pictures. That is all, everything else means nothing to me. I must mention that last month I took yearbook pictures for our homeschool group. 125 individual pictures. This is on my mind, as well as most of Micah's life in pictures.
Monday, Mike gets a call that they are pretty sure there is nothing they can do. This was the 10% chance of things, by the way, that they said could happen. They were going to try one more thing. This is where I lost it and began to cry.
How could I have let this happen? I don't know how to back them up on the external hard drive, but I could have asked Mike at any given time. If I am going to be a photographer, I should be more responsible. Just how much of Micah's life wasn't backed up. Christmas', birthday's, Easter?
And then yesterday, I read our devotion with the kids from Jesus Calling. It was about being thankful. "When you come to Me with a thankful heart, it opens up windows of heaven. Spiritual blessing fall freely through those widows and down into your life. A thankful heart opens you up to these blessing, and then you have even more reasons to be grateful."
The scripture to this was Habakkuk 3:17-18
"Though the fig tree should now blossom, nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord;
I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
God, the Lord, is my strength;
he makes my feet like the deer's;
he makes me tread on my high places."
For me I thought "though my computer may fail, and my pictures are gone, I will rejoice in the Lord." While I have lost what are so many of my memories through pictures, the ones I take pictures of are right here with me. God has taught me a lot of lessons these past months with a to of heart break going on around me. I will rejoice in Him.
Today, I got a text from Mike that said, "it is all gone, they don't see anything." Right after that I looked outside to see two of my neighbors walking. One is a physical therapist who is now helping out the other neighbor who just went through brain surgery at the age of 46 because she has brain cancer.
Perspective.
Mike's step mom is battling breast cancer, another family member ovarian cancer. One of my high school classmates lost her battle with leukemia this summer leaving behind four children. I am going to be ok.
I have many phone calls to make to have pictures retaken, and most of my pictures will never make it into a scrapbook. But, I will choose to be thankful for my wonderful life, and to have made so many memories with those I love around me.
